ok on November 15, 2011 at about 10am I was fist in the door to pick up a copy of Saints Row the third.
I had the story of the game beaten by that Thursday (even with my limited play time schedule). I have to say, I loved it, I have not had this much fun playing a video game since ... ... well I think since the last Saints Row game. I give it a 4.75 out of five.
and here is why:
ok I will endeavor to do this with as few spoilers as possible and will focus mostly on gameplay stuff and not on story: suffice it to say I loved the story to no end and that part alone gets a 5/5.
this game is sheer unadulterated FUN!
The second game for those who missed it followed your character (the Leader/ Boss/ generic non gender title) as they rebuilt the Third Street Saints and retook the city of Still water from three rival gangs and a corporation. It was wacky, cooky, fun. You could do things like drive a septic truck around and spray sh*t on houses (for points!), streak (for points!), and blow up stuff (for points) the list can actually go on.
In between games the Third Street Saints have become celebrities (as the star wars style word crawl set to the 2001 theme explains at the beginning of game three). You wind up in the city of Steelport with a new Nemesis, "The Syndicate", a group consisting of three gangs working together to destroy you, "The Luchadores" (a Mexican wrestling themes game), "The Deckers" (CYBERPUNK!) and "Morning Star" (slick mafia). This game is heavily influenced by science fiction, including a Tron style in the computer battle that incorporates a text adventure and an old Atari game. This may seem a little weird considering the past two games, that while outrageous, were still grounded in relative reality, but that shows the real genius of Volition by the fact that "Saints Row the Third" still feels like a "Saints Row" game.
Some of my personal favorite activities from the second game are sadly absent (Fuzz- a COPS parody, Septic Avenger - the aforementioned Sh*t Truck) but they were replaced with some other fun stuff, most notably "Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax", a parody of over the top Japanese gameshows that has you running through a trap laden maze shooting people in mascot costumes.
Also new to the game are several choices through the story missions some are mearly choosing a boost to one aspect or another (get more cash in the game or get a more respect, get a discount on weapon upgrades or vehicle customizations) while some are important like which of the two ending do you go for?
Respect has also been revamped, it's no longer need to start missions, now it's a level up system that lets you purchase up grades like less bullet damage (which can eventually become no bullet damage) and nitrous in every car you get in. This was actually pretty fun and I like it.
There are some (by some I mean alot of) new weapons too. Laser rifle, Predator Drone, Air Strikes, Electric Grenades, and my personal favorite the Apocafist.
The Apocafist is a pair of boxing gloves that look like enlarged fists and when you punch people with them the people f*cking explode! It's awesome.
We paired this weapon with a clothing option that makes you a toilet and dubbed the B-Horror Movie result the Apocatoilet. More on the Apocatoilet in later posts.
There is much talent in this game including the lovely and talented Sasha Grey as the voice and likeness for Viola (who I won't give away too much about but let's just say she's great), Hulk Hogan as the ex-Luchadore wrestler Angel, and Burt Reynolds as ... ... ... Mayor Burt F*cking Reynolds of Steelport! Oh and let's not forget he sends you to fight zombies! Burt Reynolds sends you to fight Zombies!!! (ok that is my only spoiler :P) If you don't know who the great Burt Reynolds is, go to netflix, the Internet, or you local still open video rental story and get your hands on Smokey and the Bandit.
This game is Crude, rude, wacky, silly, immature, and (as I've said many times) fun. I highly recommend this Sandbox crime game to anyone who likes to be stupid and goofy from time to time, or even if you just want a really good action game, the plot is good, the new elements are fun, and even the new controls work well. This game is enjoyable, and at the same time does not completely invalidate the game that came before it (a mistake that many sequels make, if I play the new COD do I really need to pick up the last one again? no because it's the same game with diffrent maps).
4.75/5
Now if you'll excuse me the Apocatoilet needs to punch a teleporting cyberpunk schoolgirl with a giant electric hammer in the face ... ... fracking specialists.
"Blood In, Blood Out" ~ Saints Row
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